Today, October 29, is the celebration of the International Day of Care and SupportThe UN's "Caregiving and sustainability" campaign, proclaimed by the UN with the goal to raise awareness about gender equality and the sustainability of our societies, the need to invest in a resilient and inclusive care Economics and the development of strong and sustainable care and support systems.

In Spain, the model care system has historically been based on family networks, a characteristic feature of Mediterranean countries. This system, based on gender relations and cultural expectations, has had a significant impact on families, mainly women, who still today disproportionately and invisibly assume the responsibility of caregiving. According to report of 2022 on the assessment of the system for the promotion of autonomy staff and care for people in status of dependence (SAAD), "69.8% of these people are cared for exclusively by the family, without the intervention of external resources". This structure is unevenly distributed among family members, with a significant prevalence of women, whether wives or daughters.

Nowadays it is not easy to meet the expectations of traditional caregiving, especially if it is performed in an unequal manner between genders, without sufficient support and entailing the withdrawal of one's own vital project . Families spend a lot of energy and resources trying to balance desires and obligations and one way of managing these difficulties has been the increasing transfer of care to outsiders, mainly migrant women, in informal Economics networks. This is known as the global care chain.

Caregiving, as a long-term and continuous activity, often generates profound changes in health and family dynamics. The caregiving family is at greater risk of experiencing stresses in virtually every dimension of life, from health to interpersonal relationships to economic stability. However, there is also a positive and rewarding dimension to the experience. In fact, there are families who are able to perceive caregiving as an opportunity to discover and strengthen talents and skills, remain closer to one another, and increase family meaning and commitment.

Although caregiving affects the well-being of the whole family, both research and support services have mostly focused on the individual experience of the primary caregiver. A distinction is made between what we call the "caregiving effect," which highlights the cost staff borne by the primary caregiver, and the "family effect," which focuses on how caregiving affects, transforms, and depends on the dynamics and interactions within the family system. However, an inclusive approach must take into account both effects simultaneously, in order to provide effective support to both the caregiver and the family unit.

The family, in caregiving, continually faces small moments of suffering and doubt. In my research with families and people with Alzheimer's disease I have been able to detect that suffering does not usually present itself in large doses or in a dramatic way. Rather, most of it occurs in the day to day and in the resolution of small tensions.

Kleinman, Professor of Medical Anthropology and Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School School , argues that the way to understand the lives of those who care for and are cared for is to pay attention to the details of the person's experience and listen to the stories of the everyday. But how does one do that? He suggests that it is achieved through empathic listening, "the existential commitment to be with the person, with the family, and to facilitate their construction of a narrative that gives meaning and value to their experience." In nursing it is known as curious compassion or compassionate curiosity. It is a professional intervention that goes beyond mere curiosity to understand the family's experience and aims to reduce suffering and promote family health, being aware and fully present, and without making judgments.

If we pay more attention to the daily lives of families, if we care for those who live in status of vulnerability, keeping our sensitivity open to their suffering, but also to their possibilities and strengths, we become better scientists, clinicians and human beings.