20_12_19_EDU_sarrais

"Be realistic and non-idealistic, emphasize the transmission of positive ideas and feelings, and avoid conflictive topics in conversations". This is the main core topic given by the professor of the University of Navarra Fernando Sarráis to spend a good Christmas with the family. The psychiatrist has recently published the book Family and Harmonyin which he reviews a series of areas for the family to reach its ultimate goal : happiness. "An especially desirable goal at Christmas," he says.

"Family gatherings involve being at contact and in gestural and verbal communication with people who love us - more or less - but they do," he says. Dr. Sarráis encourages being generous and altruistic: "It's about feeling good by making others feel good."

He adds that "there are no magic rules to prevent family conflicts", but suggests seeking the support of people in authority -parents, grandparents- to establish and maintain rules that safeguard harmony and kindness during Christmas, such as establishing the prohibition of talking about conflicting issues and complaints, regrets or criticisms of oneself and others, and establishing a set of positive issues of family members to report and comment on at family gatherings. 

The political family is one of the potential subjects of friction and conflicts in the couple. Dr. Sarráis suggests a committee to prevent and avoid them: "the previous mentalization oriented to favor tolerance, cooperation, flexibility and the effort to adapt to different and even opposite ways of being, thinking, feeling and living of the other members of the in-laws, and the explicit commitment to make every effort to avoid any conflict". In addition, he insists on the importance of "everyone being very clear about their role and teaching the younger ones what theirs is in order to avoid cars and interference with that of others". Finally, he appeals to mutual respect and love for individual freedom to avoid "manipulations, blackmail or impositions for one's own benefit that offend others and cause grievances and damage". 

Psychological maturity and positive life attitude

In his book Family and Harmony, the professor of the University of Navarra deals, from a psychological point of view, with the individual's capacity for marital commitment, the need to reinforce parental authority in the family, and reviews how the family Education influences the maturity of the children's personality. Dr. Sarráis affirms that "the spouses are the main protagonists of a happy family, since they are the source of love for each other and for the children, and for the members of the extended family. And love is the experience that makes one happy".

This happiness is closely linked to "psychological maturity", which is manifested in a harmonious balance between reason, will and affectivity: "People with psychological maturity have a positive attitude towards life because they usually have positive feelings and are more inwardly free, and thus achieve a greater Degree of happiness in their lives," he concludes.