"It is important that the adolescent does not confuse an initial attraction with the love of his or her life. That is why they must be prudent in front of their impulses and their feelings in order to be able to offer their sexuality when they can really give it to someone who will share their life with them". This is what three researchers from the Institute for Culture and Society (ICS) of the University of Navarra: Jokin de Irala, Full Professor of Preventive Medicine and Public Health; Carlos Beltramo, doctor in Education; and Alfonso Osorio, professor of the School of Education and Psychology.

These experts of the project 'Education of Affectivity and Human SexualityThese experts of the ICS are the authors of 'Affective relationship and attachment in courtship', one of t he chapters of the book La training de la voluntad matrimonial: anomalías, patologías y normalidad (The of the marital will: anomalies, pathologies and normality ). The volume gathers the conference proceedings of the X International Symposium of the high school Martín de Azpilcueta of the School of Canon Law.

From agreement with these specialists, "the adolescent should seek to know a little more about the person he/she is attracted to, knowing that with patience he/she will make fewer mistakes". In this sense, they emphasize that love "is reached through friendship, through the real knowledge of the other person. In love there is respect, commitment, willingness to share, ability to forgive and ask for forgiveness. In love, one is with the other person in good times and bad".

Hedonism produces "affective blindness".

On the contrary, they emphasize that hedonistic practices produce "affective blindness", since in this type of behavior subject "affectivity is not integrated but dominated by impulses" and, therefore, in these relationships "skepticism is imposed in the face of any major commitment".

The gestures of love," they remind us, "include complete bodily and spiritual union. Everyday tenderness also takes place during courtship but the sexual relationship has its proper place in marriage. Commitment and submission will be maintained over time, overcoming the difficulties inherent in living together."

Doctors De Irala, Beltramo and Osorio make the following recommendations to help young people delay the onset of sexual relations: educate themselves about the meaning of love and sexuality, strengthen their will, learn to manage sexual impulse and choose a healthy leisure time.

To help them acquire these life habits, they emphasize the importance of "having elements of Education to configure this remote and mediated preparation both in the action of parents and in the information that young people themselves receive".

Read the chapter 'Affective relationship and attachment in courtship'.