In recent months we have been living with our activity constrained, as well as our desires, projects, dreams..., as if we were psychically caged. This status feeds the so called "pandemic fatigue", whose main ingredients are: tiredness, uncertainty, fear, sadness. This cocktail compresses the personality and depresses the mood, which is externalized in a behavior tinged with apathy and a more irritable and fussy character than usual.

Let's use an example to try to explain, in a simple way, the consequences of this psychological constriction: let's suppose that a person goes for a walk wearing shoes two sizes smaller than the one he/she wears. The effects are easy to imagine: he returns with sore, swollen, battered feet; extremely sensitive, he will react intemperately and disproportionately to the slightest friction; perhaps with chafing or blisters; with a desire to free himself from the constraints and impulsively throw his shoes in the air.

Let us apply the language of the example to the contracted psyche. First, one feels an almost physical need to release condensed tension and expand emotions [freeing oneself from shoes]. Prone to angry outbursts, which also release emotional charge [throwing shoes in the air]. Increased susceptibility and irritability: annoyed by the slightest annoyance [sensitive to slight friction]. With a continued feeling of discomfort [sore feet] that fuels bad moods, and coarseness of manner. There may even appear slight psychic wounds [chafing]: anxiety, insomnia, atony, nightmares, rigidity in behavior...

Surely we find ourselves in this state of stiff fatigue, and also the people in our family, work and social environment. Consequently, it is quite natural that, as they say, "sparks fly" over trifles or trivialities; that there is an increase in rudeness, surly replies, unkind answers, complaints, grumblings, indelicacy... Also that conversations or comments on current affairs, which are now ready to become passionate or to give conflicting opinions, end with a certain amount of heat. That is to say, the inevitable frictions of the daily hustle and bustle become bitter and acrimonious, more because of the inner pressure than because of the incident itself. I insist, I am referring to the trifles of life, not to conflicts of some importance, of deep origin, and that this exceptional status only triggers or aggravates. The worst thing is the increase, the frequency, the sum. They act as those drops that overflow the glass. If to apathy and fatigue we add the bitterness of these small fights, the emotional tone becomes sticky, tiresome.

In order to cushion that dull feeling, kindness comes into play, the purpose of which is to stop the blow at the first blow. In the face of any uncomfortable or impolite status respond without entering the fray, stopping the outburst at the root or diverting attention. A simple "excuse me", "I didn't realize", "I'm sorry", "I'll get it now", "excuse me"... If we respond with kindness to an abrupt attack, we lower the tension and the status or conversation does not become more difficult, on the contrary, it becomes more peaceful. The other person is left confused, as if disarmed, because he/she assumed a response at the same level. Kindness acts as the heat that melts the ice. To cultivate kindness is, in final, to master the art of calming and pacifying the atmosphere with a cordial word, a pleasant comment, a funny exit or a witty and opportune joke. To get one less friction, and then another, and another...

Today, kindness offers a tremendously timely and effective resource : silence, knowing how to listen. The pandemic fatigue overwhelms and disheartens many people; people who either let off steam or explode like a geyser: kindness helps them by listening attentively and empathetically. And also with the silence in those conversations, so common in these times, that seem a contest of calamitous news: there to like the kindness of not adding fuel to the fire, to be silent. And try to end them with a hopeful comment.

With kindness coexists the misunderstanding of considering it a cradle endowment, a modality of temperament. There is something of it. But, in reality, it is a conquest: to tenaciously iron out the edges of character. A task that requires abundant doses of self-control, and a few grams of sense of humor.

It is never easy to be kind, even less so in times of turbulence, and without the most genuine and expressive tool of kindness: the smile! The mask stole our smile! "The smile is contagious, pandemic, no matter how gray the day is" (Jesús Montiel). We will have to learn to smile with our eyes. And to make up for it with a warm tone of voice and a gentle gesture, satellites of the kind word.

Months of hopeful uncertainty remain. Kindness can avoid many unpleasant frictions that would lighten the thickness of apathetic fatigue. We should train ourselves to become friendlier. And, hopefully, these efforts will consolidate a kindness that is here to stay. It would be an immense gain, because an atmosphere filled with kindness soothes and refreshes personal relationships and softens grey days.