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Gerardo Castillo Ceballos, Professor of the School of Education and Psychology

A paradox: the social value of shyness

Mon, 08 May 2017 15:20:00 +0000 Published in Navarra Newspaper

Several recent programs of study conclude that one of the most populous social groups is that of the shy, to the point that we would all be shy at some Degree and in certain situations, such as, for example, speaking in public, being interviewed, asking for a claim form or apply for a salary increase.

It is hard to understand this proliferation of shy people, because it does not correspond to the boldness that is usually attributed to today's man. But after scratching a little on the mask that covers the face of the daring one can appreciate the rictus of fear typical of the insecure person. Excessive boldness is often a disguise for a feeling of inferiority; it is the behavior of the "shamelessly timid."

 Society has always reprobated the shy, while rewarding the very social and determined, as can be seen in the usual offers on employment: "Extroverted people wanted".

 Lately, this criterion is changing. Moderate shyness is attributed a social value in the face of the culture of daring, exhibitionism and spectacle. We aspire to a society that is jealous of intimacy and of withdrawal in the forms.

Moderate shy people tend to have a deeper personality and greater strength in the face of adversity than very bold people. They also know themselves better, since they spend more time with themselves. This attitude favors the ability to listen and, therefore, the possibility of having friends.

The shy person usually speaks softly, in a whisper, which makes other people more interested in what he/she is saying and develops listening skills. Similarly, his possible stuttering encourages others to fill in his unfinished sentences.

 Shyness is a feeling of insecurity and anxiety suffered by a person for fear of being judged negatively. Although it is not a disease, it can evolve into pathological subject behaviors. When it becomes such a serious problem that it seriously limits the quality of life, it becomes social phobia, a disorder that requires psychological treatment.

Are shy people born or made? Some are born and others are made. Most often it is a combination of the two factors. Shyness usually originates in childhood traumas, such as a long illness, the premature death of a loved one and having been a victim of negative parental attitudes, including excessive severity and humiliating punishments.

There is also age-related shyness. In childhood it hardly occurs and the child is not aware of it, while adolescence is considered the age of shyness. The adolescent is insecure and shy by nature.

Some people try to disguise and compensate for their shyness with the resource of humor and with ways of life opposed to that trait staff. Hitchcock asserted himself by directing mystery and suspense films. This fact denotes a possibility or advantage of being shy: developing new and unexpected capabilities.

A high Degree shyness conditions the whole life staff, but does not prevent the emergence of genius.

The writer Jorge Luis Borges was always very shy. He was terrified of speaking in public. The few times he accepted to give a lecture at lecture he chose only one person from group to address only to her. He could never speak to several people at once. On some occasions his lecture was read by a friend of his, while he remained hidden among the audience.

The successful author of detective novels Agatha Christie had an invincible fear of appearing in public and being interviewed. porter At a tribute party in her honor, she remained alone in a small room in the Savoy Hotel because entrance prevented her from entering the auditorium because she did not want to make herself known.

Since the shy person distrusts everything, including himself, self-confidence should be fostered by creating a welcoming and stimulating environment around him.

One of the most effective educational resources is to help her detect and cultivate a hidden talent. A Canadian documentary shows how a teacher manages to reduce a girl's shyness by promoting her unknown ability to dance.

The best remedy against shyness is to forget oneself in order to provide some good to others. This financial aid helps the shy person to stop feeling lonely and to gain self-esteem. But it remains to be seen whether the advantages of this new status are preferable to its disadvantages. Would an idyllic society without shy people necessarily be more valuable than a society with moderate shyness?