On Monday, October 13, Cardinal Peter Erdo's second lecture address to the Synod on the Family was held, summarizing the most salient points of the interventions of the first week. He proposed that we listen to the signs of God and those of our historical context at the same time, in order to get the right way of proclaiming the Christian message on the family.

 The lecture begins by alluding to the "desire for family" which, despite current difficulties, remains alive, especially among young people (cf.Document of work, n. 45). In spiritual and pastoral discernment, speaker distinguished three stages: "listening" to cultural and pastoral challenges; "looking" at the attitudes of Jesus; "meeting" with Jesus to discern the best way to help families. It could be said that these three words can be seen in correspondence with the three stages of ecclesial discernment, which in their best known version have been called: see, judge and act.

1. First of all, listening to or looking at reality-understanding it from the perspective of reason and faith-begins by examining the context and the challenges of the family . The current status asks to be able to assume "the positive forms of individual freedom", but without falling into the individualism that considers "each component of the family as an island, making prevail, in certain cases, the idea of a subject that is built according to its own desires taken as an absolute".

At the same time, the challenges of the moment must be taken into account: socio-economic challenges, associated with family precariousness, andcultural and religious challenges: customs such as polygamy, "marriage by stages", mixed marriages, or problems caused by mixed marriages, or the practice of cohabitation not oriented towards marriage, situations of violence and war, with the difficulties that all this entails, especially for the weakest: children and women.

Among these challenges, the importance of affective lifestands out. Together with the aforementioned generalized desire, people today feel a greater need to take care of and know themselves, and to improve their affective relationships. This - the rapporteur continues - has as risks an individualistic selfishness, a "narcissistic, unstable and changeable" affectivity that leads to immaturity staff and couple, which deteriorates the family, together with the demographic decrease that endangers the Economics and hope.

            This status determines the pastoral challenges. In these times marked by individualism and hedonism, it is necessary, on the one hand, "to start from the conviction that man comes from God and that, therefore, a reflection capable of proposing the great questions about the meaning of being human can find fertile ground in the deepest expectations of humanity". At the same time, "it is necessary to accept people with their concrete existence, to know how to support the search, to encourage the desire for God and the will to feel fully part of the Church, even those who have experienced failure or find themselves in the most desperate situations".

"This," observes Cardinal Erdo, "demands that the doctrine of the faith, which must always be made known in its fundamental contents, go proposal together with mercy. In this conclusion of the first part we find what the then Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger called "the fundamental formula of Christian existence": "to do the truth in charity" (Eph 4:15) (cf. Homily at the Mass pro eligiendo pontifice, April 8, 2005); and later, as Benedict XVI, he described it as "the vital center of Catholic culture" (speech at the University of Sacro Cuore, November 25, 2005).

2. In a second part, we are invited to ask ourselves what was Jesus' attitude: "Jesus looked at the women and men he met with love and tenderness, accompanying their steps with patience and mercy, announcing to them the demands of the Kingdom of God".

At this point another important principle is enunciated: according to divine pedagogy, the order of nature (or of creation) opens up to the order of grace (or of redemption) little by little, gradually (cf. Familiaris consortio, 34), combining continuity with novelty, and counting on the cross of Christ.

From here it is necessary to ask how to help spouses who see the failure of their marriage. And here a third luminous criterion appears: just as the Second Vatican Council recognized that outside the visible boundaries of the Church there are various"elements of sanctification and truth" (LG, 8), so too in imperfect forms of marriage (specifically in civil marriages and cohabitations oriented towards a future marriage) positive elements oriented towards the Church should be recognized. The same could be said of certain elements present in other religions or cultures.

In this way, the Church, while seeing the witness of so many families who consistently live marital fidelity and its fruits of authentic daily holiness shine forth, is ready to help those who do not yet fully live their marital vocation, but who have some positive values on which to base themselves.

3. The third part develops the mode of pastoral or formative action. "The advertisement of the Gospel of the family constitutes an urgency for the new evangelization". How can this be done? First of all with the witness of families who are called to be active subjects of evangelization; with the primacy of God's grace, which frees us from all sin, emptiness and isolation; without forgetting the cross (that is to say, the effort, the sacrifice, of not being well understood at times).

On our part, the attention to families requires from each and everyone a "missionary conversion", not to stop - says the Cardinal - in a merely theoretical advertisement and disconnected from the real problems of people. The crises of the family have to do with the crises of faith and therefore it is necessary to strengthen the faith -through the biblical and theological training , dialogue and authentic religious experience-, evoking the example of the first Christians. The language and attitude with which we present ourselves are also important, proposing values that respond to the needs of families.

Important stages in the care of families are: preparation for marriage (which should be done by encouraging participation in prayer, in the sacraments and in ecclesial life, and in solidarity, with the financial aid of the witness of the families themselves) and the first years of married life (also with financial aid of experienced couples who help them to be open to having children, to grow in spiritual life and to participate in evangelization).

With regard to de facto unions, it is pointed out that they have different roots, depending on the country: the mentality contrary to a definitive commitment, job insecurity and even material misery. But even "in such unions it is possible to find authentic family values or, at least, the desire for them"; so that one must always start from the positive aspects, with patience and gentleness.

With regard to "wounded families" (separated, divorced, divorced but not remarried or remarried), the Synod proposes that they should be helped to "live in fidelity to the Gospel of the family by mercifully making themselves position for all situations of fragility". To this end, we must all learn the attitudes of compassion that at the same time heal, liberate and encourage maturity in the Christian life (cf. Evangelii Gaudium, 169). Special care must be given to the needs of children, who cannot be mere "objects" and victims of the traumas that family difficulties can cause them. The processes of nullity could be expedited under the supervision of the bishop of each place. Regarding the administration of the sacraments, it will be necessary to consider the cases in which it is possible, "according to a law of gradualness, which takes into account the distinction between the state of sin, the state of grace and extenuating circumstances", and to continue with the theological study of these questions in search of the best ways compatible with the doctrine of the Church.

As far as homosexuals are concerned, it is proposed that the gifts and qualities they can offer to the Christian community be valued. They should be welcomed in a spirit of fraternity, without compromising Catholic doctrine on the family and marriage (and, therefore, without equating same-sex unions with marriage between a man and a woman). Perhaps it could have been said - it is not possible to say everything in a document of work- that another very real danger today is that of spreading homosexual practices among young people. "Nor is it acceptable - the text adds - that pressure should be exerted on the attitude of pastors or that international organizations should make financial aid conditional on the introduction of norms inspired by gender ideology".

Finally, "without denying the moral problems related to homosexual unions, it is taken into consideration that there are cases in which mutual support, even to the point of sacrifice, constitutes a valuable support for the life of couples. Moreover, the Church pays special attention to children living with same-sex couples, reiterating that the needs and rights of children must always come first".

Truth with charity. Gradualness that imitates the divine pedagogy of salvation. Value of certain positive elements as a starting point for a fully Christian married and family life. Missionary conversion, above all on our part, with special attention to the grace of God (prayer and sacraments), to witness, to language and to the attitudes with which we approach families in order to help them. These are the most significant points that were highlighted during the first week of work of the synod.