Parental educational styles are patterns of behavior that parents carry out in their relationship with their children, both in everyday situations and when decisions have to be made about them or when a conflict has to be resolved. The most common are four: overprotective, authoritarian, permissive and assertive. The style educational depends a lot on what each parent understands by educating, what he/she wants for his/her children and what he/she believes is his/her role.

A parent who thinks that his role is to make his child as happy as possible, and that in order to do so he must avoid any suffering subject and solve the problems that are typical of his age, is a parent who is a subscriber to the overprotective style educational . As a consequence, children see themselves as incapable and get used to getting what they want without the need for effort and struggle staff. This is often compounded by an inability to make decisions and feelings of worthlessness.

Other parents tend to think that life is very competitive and that their children have to be very bright or they will fail. Therefore, they consider that their role is to impose their authority and be very demanding. They are those who have an authoritarian style educational , which is characterized as arbitrary authority, with changing criteria and behavioral guidelines prescribed from the top down. As a consequence, children discover freedom only in a reactive way (against something or someone); they consider that they will never measure up to their parents' demands and expectations. This often translates into a poor self-concept, leave self-esteem and chronic anxiety.

Thirdly, there are parents who value freedom, but misunderstand it: being "liberal", in the sense of not setting rules, duties and limits to their children's behavior. They presume to be tolerant and aspire to be their children's friends. They do not exercise authority because they identify it with authoritarianism. They act according to the permissive style educational . As a consequence, children do not develop willpower and have little tolerance to frustration. The experience says that the spontaneous behavior of the children is not enough for them to become what they should be; it is necessary to intervene in their life. Without authority it is not possible for them to acquire habits of self-control, self-discipline, order, respect and obedience.

Finally, parents who seek the development staff in their children oriented to face life with initiative, autonomy and creativity; who exercise a firm demand but without imposition, based more on persuading than dissuading, denote an assertive style.

Assertive communication is characterized by the direct expression of thoughts and feelings, while maintaining respect for oneself and others. It is the way to convey something to someone in an honest and non-hurtful way. It implies the skill to share ideas and resolve conflicts in a constructive way. Communicating assertively means saying what you mean, without hurting the feelings of others.

An example of lack of assertiveness: "You said you would come, but you didn't, it's disrespectful". An example of assertiveness: "I didn't expect this from you, I guess it was impossible for you".

The assertive style educational is considered by experts as the best, because it combines demand with persuasion; limits are set to the children's behavior, but in a participative and stimulating climate; it creates a high achievement motivation.

For J. L. Pinillos, this style of authority "promotes autonomy manager and creative independence". Unlike others, it is not centered on the parents, but on the children, since it starts from their needs and encourages their participation; it also substitutes external demands for the appeal to self-demand; there is trust between parents and children, but not "equality". Parents take their children's opinion into account, but know that the final decision is up to them.

Overprotective and permissive educational styles are currently the most frequent, but the assertive style is considered the best.