Older people today often feel like strangers in a world that is no longer their own. The way of life in today's fast-changing society often leaves them "out of the loop". For example, if they write one of the usual long, warm letters to a grandchild, they may receive a laconic whatsapp reply that leaves them perplexed.

There is another social change that leaves the elderly even more out of place. I am referring to the current generalized loss of good manners, because they are considered mere conventions that change with the times.

It is true that the notion of good manners has evolved over time, but that does not mean that the essential has been lost or that it can be modified in a whimsical way. We have all commented at one time or another "what a well-behaved child!" referring to the same thing: manners that express a quality staff linked to internalized values.

It should be pointed out that "living my way" (like the degree scroll and the thesis of Frank Sinatra's famous song) is not correct if it is understood as doing what one feels like doing at any given moment. On the other hand, it is permissible to live with style staff the commonly accepted social norms,

Among the basic manners, the following five are worth mentioning:

-Always ask for things as a favor and give thanks for a service received;

-apologize if, unintentionally, we cause any harm subject ;

-greet when we arrive at a place;

-give the seat to elderly people or pregnant women;

-speak correctly avoiding using a very high tone of voice and swear words.

How does an elderly person who is used to exchanging affectionate greetings with his neighbors every day, to being addressed as "you" (no "tute tute") by young people, to respecting one's turn in the queues, etc., feel when all that disappears? I imagine that she feels bewildered and hurt.

Another cause of the current loss of good manners is that they are no longer seen as a goal educational .

The rules that people must follow to live together in society have always existed and have always been valued, as evidenced by many statements of eminent people in history. For example, "Style is the man himself" (George Louis Leclerc); "Brevity is the sister of talent"- (Anton Chekhov).

Some of today's parents are polarized on their children learning languages and computers, neglecting almost everything else. They forget that a good professional needs skill technical and human skills, and that the latter is based on the internalization of values.

Good manners express behaviors related to different human virtues. These virtues are exercised every time we teach our children to sit correctly, without lying sprawled on the sofa; to look at the person who is speaking to them and not at their cell phone; to listen without interrupting; to speak correctly, without swearing; to eat using the appropriate cutlery (and never with their fingers).

The family is the place where good manners are best learned. If we instill them in our children from an early age, they will acquire positive attitudes for living in society and will later become respectful, understanding, tolerant, etc. adults.

 It is not enough to correct bad manners; good manners should also be recognized and children should be congratulated for their behavior. In addition, it is essential that parents set a good example in the very manners they are trying to encourage.

 A good motivation for doing so is the one proposed by framework Tullius Cicero: "Nothing is more attractive in a man than his courtesy, patience and tolerance".