Surely, we all know a married couple that, with pain, has gone through a process throughout their relationship that has led them to break up. In many cases, the pain associated with a loss goes hand in hand with a real experience of frustration: "I wanted my marriage to last a lifetime". Truncated projects and longings that fade away. Every breakup generates pain in all the members of the family, especially affecting the children.

It is well known that, during the last decades, divorce has been increasing throughout the industrialized world. While it seems that in the United States this trend has stagnated, in Europe and especially in Spain the number of divorces continues to grow. According to Spain's high school Family Policy, in the last decade the issue of divorces has increased by 38% over 2005. In the third quarter of 2015 there were a total of almost 100 thousand marital breakups. According to statistics from the National high school (INE), Spain leads the ranking of countries with the highest divorce rate, along with Belgium and Portugal. While breakups are on the rise, marriages are decreasing by about 8% each year. It is currently stated that for every 4 marriages that begin in Spain, there are 3 divorces. In a portrait of the Spanish family, we are in a position to assure that "we marry less, and divorce more".

The unfortunate consequences of divorce for the entire population are well known: for the marriage, for the children and for society as a whole.

Specifically, with regard to the marriage itself, it has been proven that divorced people are less happy and suffer more depression. Children suffer negative consequences in different ways subject, from psychological effects to greater school failure. Finally, society is also affected in different ways. All these consequences have an impact on a high social expense , such as Education, health or social benefits.

Taking into account this panorama, it is logical to think that, from different social spheres, a special concern should be to reduce, as much as possible, the number of divorces issue . As well as to contribute to the strengthening of marriage.

How to do it?

To do this, a fundamental step is to discover which factors increase the probability of divorce in a couple, and which ones facilitate marital success. And, among these factors, we must identify which ones are modifiable: on which ones we can intervene (for example, we can improve a person's communication skills, but we cannot change his or her family background at all).

Numerous authors coincide in pointing out two large groups or categories of situations that can provoke an imbalance in marriage. In the first category we find situations that we can call the crisis of development, typical of the adaptation to the different stages of any marriage. They are universal and can be foreseeable. We refer in this case to the beginning of cohabitation, the birth of children, learning to be a father or mother, work organization, etc. In a second category are those unforeseeable events, unexpected events, whose resolution requires an effort, a capacity of donation and a level of mutual maturity to be able to adapt to the new status. We can mention here unexpected economic crises, accidents, illnesses, deaths, etc.

Many professionals agree that there are initially pleasant situations that can lead to conflict, such as the decision to move or a vacation. Both activities mean a change in the couple's routine and create the opportunity to make decisions, coordinate and work as a team under new circumstances, which can generate new conflicts. It has been proven that after the vacations, breakups increase. The less rigid schedules and a greater intensity in the coexistence, can provoke that certain differences or conflicts that remained hidden come to light.

A fact that is becoming increasingly important nowadays is the influence that new technologies have on all aspects of our lives. programs of study carried out by Boston University and the Pontificia Universidad Católica de Chile, agree that dependence on social networks is associated with an increase in divorces of up to 4.5%. A few years ago, at the meeting of the American Academy of Lawyers in the United States, 62% of the participants stated that the Internet had been a significant factor in that year's divorces. We are in a position to say that the impact of online activity on married life is a significant predictor of marital distress, separation and divorce.

 What can we do in the face of this complex reality? Is it possible to "anticipate" these possible situations of misalignment in the marriage bond?

We are convinced that it is possible. If we find or identify those "modifiable" factors that affect marital cohabitation, we can intervene and, in this way, help new couples to improve those aspects in which they need to increase their chances of success in this project of life that excites them so much and that for some ends up being more difficult to achieve.

Background of the study

There have already been studies, especially in the United States, programs of study that attempt to identify variables associated with marital success. The variables that have been found are of different subject, such as the origin of the subjects, personality traits or the interaction processes in the couple. The most characteristic project in this line is perhaps the one carried out since 1980 by the programs of study Center on Marriage and Family at the University of Denver, under the direction of Howard Markman. In 1980 they recruited 135 couples planning to marry, and assessed them on a number of variables. Since then, they have been following these couples, studying especially whether they are still married and, if so, what their Degree marital satisfaction is.

Several variables have been shown to be associated with marital stability and satisfaction. Among them, the most important are the ability to communicate and solve problems together, the tendency to sacrifice, and not having cohabited before marriage. Similar research has also been led by John Gottman of the University of Washington. After following couples for 14 years, they have found variables associated with divorce. Moreover, some of them even seem to suggest the time in which a couple might eventually divorce. The most relevant variables refer to different aspects of the way of interacting during conflicts, measures of positive and negative affect, as well as data obtained from the history of the couple's relationship.

In Switzerland, Guy Bodenmann's team has paid particular attention to how subjects cope with stress, both individually (individual coping) and in pairs (dyadic coping). 

project AMAR

In view of the above, we believe that it is relevant to propose a study of similar characteristics, but with distinctive notes.

In the project A .M.A.R (Antecedents of Marital Adjustment Research) we intend to carry out a longitudinal, prospective and dynamic study, starting with couples who are planning to marry for the first time. We want to apply, on a Spanish sample , procedures that have proven effective in other countries, while trying to make our own contributions to improve and deepen the study in some aspects.

We start from the following hypotheses:

It is possible to identify, prior to marriage, variables, characteristics and circumstances of couples that can work together to prevent them from being precipitating factors for marital failure.

2. Some premarital variables will be more associated with marital success or failure.

Some marital events and circumstances may act to modify, for better or worse, the course of the marriage.

The general goal of this study consists of assessing the association between premarital variables, characteristics and circumstances of the persons to be married, and the success of their marriage, taking into account other variables and possibly modifying events during the marriage. To this end, the study begins with the possibility of passing a questionnaire to the bride and groom to be about the relationship, characteristics and premarital circumstances of the couple. In this way we will be able to identify areas that could be suggested as targets for improvement. After some time of marriage, we will contact them again to follow up on their relationship and then identify variables associated with success (staying together and satisfied with their marriage) and failure in their different Degrees (being separated or divorced, or staying together but with a low marital satisfaction Degree ).

From project AMAR we want to study the keys that make love last forever. We want to offer clear lights to future marriages so that they can talk more about those points that are usually complicated in a couple and can evaluate their strengths, talking and working on those attitudes that allow them to forge a stable and happy marriage. Because there are things that only experience can teach, we want the experiences of today's marriages to be a financial aid for tomorrow's marriages. Because love is not only a feeling, but also an art that can be learned. And marriage is an adventure worth learning to live.

If you want to participate in the study or learn more about our project: www.amarhoy.org