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Back to 2014_04_ICS_Qué hay que tener en cuenta para hablar de sexualidad y afectividad con los adolescentes y jóvenes

Experts of the project 'Education of affectivity and human sexuality',

What should be taken into account when discussing sexuality and affectivity with adolescents and young people?

Thu, 24 Apr 2014 10:30:00 +0000 Published in ICA Press

The first step parents can take is to increase their knowledge about some of the issues. The answers in this section may help.

1. Start talking about affectivity and sexuality early.

It is better to talk "an hour earlier" than "five minutes later". It is not possible to specify an age, but, in reality, it is possible to have conversations about these topics from the age of 3. When your children ask questions, always answer them by adapting the truth to what they want to know and their ability to understand.

2. Talk about sexuality as "good news," in a positive and upbeat way.

Sexuality has to do with our self-esteem and happiness. We are male or female sexed beings destined to love. Healthy sexuality has to do with our growth and harmonious maturation staff .

3. Talk about sexuality in an integrated way

It is about preparing young people for love. Even if they ask a simple question, it is necessary to answer in an integrated manner. Talk about the "how" but also the "why" of sexuality.

4. Communicate frequently and clearly about your values and expectations regarding sexuality

It is not a matter of giving a single talk about sexuality, but of being able to talk about it frequently. Children live in an environment that continually communicates contradictory messages about human sexuality, often contrary to the values you would like to convey to them. Therefore, it is important that you communicate your values to them in language that is as relatable as possible. Avoidance of topics will provoke exaggerated curiosity in your children, leading them to seek answers from sources that could be harmful.

5. Reason the values you want to transmit

Adolescents tend to make decisions based on feelings and emotions rather than reason and experience. They sometimes have negative attitudes toward their parents or their educators because they do not understand their messages. Try to make clear, in your proposals, the importance of being well prepared for submit sexuality when they can make a commitment to a stable family project .

6. Be approachable, accessible, and listen to your children.

The first phase of communication with your children is to take the time to listen to what they say or to interpret their silences in certain situations. Only by listening will you be able to adapt your answers to your children's reality. If you listen to them on "unimportant" issues, they will ask you questions when they have doubts about sexuality. If you answer with honest answers, they will see you as a reliable source of information on these topics. source .

7. Be consistent

It is important to convey to your children that you are convinced that they are really capable of living sexuality as you intend. The best way to convey this is for you to be consistent with what you convey.

8. Complete the Education with accessible information

Have teen books, videos and brochures available at home for your children to view, but without them feeling pressured to do so.

9. Get directly involved in your child's school Education .

You are the first manager of the affective-sexual Education of your children. The affective-sexual Education is never "neutral" and involves the transmission of values. Think, for example, of the definition of "love" or the decision in complex situations such as teenage pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. Other people should not decide for you what your children are taught about these issues. Find out what they are being told on high school at subject from Education , both by teachers and textbooks. You can, together with other parents, use the channels of democracy to decide whether or not certain content that you consider important should be taught.

10. Use mistakes as educational opportunities

When you or your children make wrong decisions, a calm and reasoned conversation can transform the mistake into an opportunity to take the right direction with more strength and conviction.