The degree scroll of these lines I borrowed from Salvo Noè, from his nascent Italian best seller. The sale of the book was accompanied by a red poster highlighting the degree scroll. The poster and the book reached Pope Francis, who had the idea of sticking the poster on the door of his office. Someone photographed it and posted it on network. The photograph went viral and the book was translated into several languages within weeks. It hides some suggestive ideas that I would like to comment on, although I will not disembowel the book in case anyone is curious enough to read it, which I recommend without excessive enthusiasm.

The author lashes out against complaints only when they constitute a person's habitual behavior. He considers these sudden, almost reflexive complaints to unpleasant events or happenings to be excusable; we would be better off with a serene response, but self-control... sometimes fails. Perhaps we have all succumbed to it at one time or another... What is harmful, therefore, is the complaining tone of life in the face of existential events, since complaints reveal certain deficiencies in the personality. Specifically, Noè points out:

Dissatisfaction. I will try to explain it with a simple example: an ordinary person does not usually complain about not having a helicopter, but he or she might complain about not enjoying a high-end car... In other words, discontent is based on the realm of the possible or probable. Therefore, to complain is to feel lacking something that, in our opinion, is deserved or due to us: things are not as we would like them to be or as they would seem reasonable or fair to us. In other words, we feel that we are victims of injustice, undervalued, wronged, envied... or that we have been unlucky. In final, regrets are intended to find a scapegoat to explain that dissatisfaction, without undermining our self-esteem. And also to soften the disenchantment and discouragement, looking for the honey of others' compassion, when we feel the lack of strength or resources to reverse the status: victimhood, it is called. Victimhood is the sum of egocentrism plus dissatisfaction.

But the core topic of the question points in another direction: complaints are sterile, useless, they never achieve anything. Noè supports this with a strong and logical argument: complaints keep the mind focused on the problem, but not on the solution. And even if it sounds like a truism: problems are only solved if they are solved. Therefore, what is useful and effective is to look for and find ways to solve life's crossroads, to act, and to act with realism and optimism, understanding that optimism does not mean that everything goes our way, but to find the best side of reality. Complaining, grieving, reproaching... resembles the grumbling of children when they feel obliged to obey. "Complaints are like rocking chairs: they entertain you, but they get you nowhere!" (Salvo Noè).

However, it should be noted. Events and occurrences also have an emotional impact. Let me use a simple example: the death of a loved one. Complaining does not solve anything: he will not be resurrected! But this objectivism does not quell the deep inner pain that the grieving process awakens. It is distressing, and very distressing. It is necessary to heal this wound, to help it to heal. And one of the most effective remedies is to unburden oneself: the mere telling of one's sorrows already lightens them. It is good to unburden oneself...

But venting is not complaining. Venting is an affective (emotional) catharsis that cushions inner pain. Although it runs the risk of becoming a victimized lament (ineffective!); to avoid this, the venting has to comply with two requirements: 1) to be proportional to the event that triggered it, that is to say, to be expressed with moderation; 2) not to arise by direct effect of the emotional explosion, but calmed down by self-control. To achieve this, it is enough to apply a simple rule: let off steam with the right person and at the right time....

And the paradoxical and surprising thing is that in this hypersensitive society with countless channels of communication, it is very difficult to find occasions of consolation. People with the capacity to listen and empathize with our sorrows are scarce. Today, the priority is to upload pleasant photos to any social network ...

By chance, near the computer rests a book in which some strips of paper stand out with suggestive quotations. In one of them stands out the word COMPLAINT, and the marked one reads as follows: But in these difficult times and with such a lack of friends, at least do not choose sad men, of those who mourn everything, without there being anything that does not serve them as a reason for complaints, [for] it is contrary to psychological balance the friend who is always restless and the one who complains about everything. At the end of the book, on the title page, one can read degree scroll and author: "Moral Treatises", Lucius Annaeus Seneca (first century!). It seems to come from ancient times...