Publicador de contenidos

Back to 19_09_30_familia_EDU_OPI

Gerardo Castillo Ceballos, School of Education and Psychology of the University of Navarra

The family as a place of fulfillment staff

Mon, 30 Sep 2019 10:04:00 +0000 Published in Navarra Newspaper

Today there is a lot of talk about "self-fulfillment", in the sense of "freeing oneself" from obligations and commitments in order to enjoy life more and -supposedly- be happier. This "liberation" is often at the expense of dedication to the family. For example, the case of parents who occupy almost all their free time with very absorbing hobbies.

For this reason, it seems appropriate to recall that authentic fulfillment staff goes in the opposite direction, although it is not incompatible with having fun. It consists in growing in freedom manager.

The person needs to find situations that allow him to exercise his freedom. We can therefore speak of spheres of fulfillment staff. The same person is fulfilled in his family (by being a good husband, good father or good son); at work (by being a good professional); in social relations (by being a good citizen); in the life of friendship (by being a good friend); in free time (by developing his creativity through leisure, not idleness).

Each of these partial goals of realization must be seen as a function of the total realization, and not as something independent. It cannot be otherwise if we consider the person as a being that has unity or, if one prefers, as an indivisible whole. It would not make sense, for example, to value highly the conduct manager in the professional work and to be, at the same time, an irresponsible parent. It is not uncommon for a boss who is so understanding and affectionate with his employees to be an ogre in his family, or for a loving father to be a tyrant in his business. Such incoherent and quasi-schizophrenic behavior denotes a rupture of the necessary unity of life.

It is worth emphasizing the special possibilities of one of these areas, that of the family. Why? In the first place because of the close relationship that exists between the person and the family. The family has been defined as a "natural institution in which one is born, grows and dies as a person". Every child needs the family's own attention staff from before birth: to be awaited and received with the respect and affection a person needs; throughout life: to be listened to, understood, demanded and stimulated to grow as a person; at the end of life: to be helped to die well, to die freely as a person, in an atmosphere of affection.

The family is the atmosphere that the person needs to breathe. This particular atmosphere is characterized by love: the family is a community of persons united by bonds of unconditional love, who grow together. The family community finds its deepest foundation in a typical human capacity: to love as a family.

When asked why the family is necessary, one must answer that it is not primarily for reproduction (which can also take place outside of it) but insofar as the family offers an environment of affection adequate to the dignity of the human person.

The family is the main sphere of fulfillment staff for a second reason: it is the sphere of values. In the family, true values are discovered and lived, such as truth and goodness, which correspond to human virtues such as sincerity, generosity and loyalty.

Values are necessary for the realization staff because they invite each person to a continuous overcoming of his limits and to "finish being".

The great possibility that the family has is that it is there where values are transmitted, not theoretical values, but lived values. What educates people are not lectures, classes or internet networks. What educates is belonging to a community that has a good way of living: an authentic culture; a formative character. Virtue cannot be taught (Socrates). Virtues are acquired in educational communities where authentic values are lived and made one's own.

In the family there is a way of learning that does not take place outside the family: it is a learning by impregnation of the adult way of life. From the earliest ages, children learn, as if by osmosis, what they see and hear at home: criteria, customs, manners, rules of conduct. Behind what is proposed or corrected every day there are values. For example: "pick up your toys, tidy your room, financial aid to your brother, wash your hands before eating, do not eat with your fingers, use cutlery", etc.).

Only in such an intense and continuous community of coexistence and in an environment in which each person feels loved for himself or herself - and not for what he or she does or for what he or she has or is worth - is authentic fulfillment possible staff.